


The Mermaid Fic

by corgisocks



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Getting Together, Mentioned Ferdinand von Aegir, Mermaids, Pirate x Mermaid, Pirates, Strangers to Lovers, crackfic, totally not tho!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25664251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corgisocks/pseuds/corgisocks
Summary: Edelgard has a whole pirate crew to keep her company, but she is still lonely. If only the mermaid from her dreams were real...._____This was written for a dear friend in the fevoices server. She asked for a Edeleth pirate x mermaid fic, so I delivered. It took me approx. 26 minutes to write. It is a masterpiece. Enjoy.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	The Mermaid Fic

Edelgard was a pirate. Her crew was pretty large, but none of them were girlfriend material. This made her very sad because she was very desperate for a girlfriend. She was so desperate, in fact, that every night, she would dream that a pretty mermaid would reach for her hand, and they would soar away into the dawn together. 

Right at that moment, Edelgard was dreaming that exact dream. The mermaid, as always, had green hair and big tiddy. She reached for her hand—

“Lady Edelgard,” Hubert said, “we have an important guest.”

Darn. She wished she could have stayed in her dream. But guests were important, she guessed. 

“Freshen up,” Hubert continued. 

Edelgard trudged out of bed and entered the walk-in closet next to her quarters. Actually, it was supposed to have been Ferdinand’s quarters, but Hubert had kidnapped him or something, so he had let her turn it into a walk-in closet in his absence. Edelgard selected a very sexy ensemble which consisted of a red shirt with a tiddy window; some black leather slacks that she hoped would make her look edgy and authoritative at the same time; some spiky heels to kick dumbasses with; a very long and velvety and sexy cape; and last but not least, her pirate hat, which had horns on it. It made her look like a gigachad. She hoped the guest would agree. 

She exited the room and walked out to the deck with a newfound swagger, but she was still very depressed. This was the exact sort of outfit she would’ve wanted to wear on her first date with her mermaid girlfriend, but she didn’t—

Her mouth dropped. 

“NO FUCKING WAY,” Edelgard cried, “YOU’RE REAL?!”

In front of her lay her beautiful mermaid princess. Her hair was green, and she had big tiddy and everything. This had to be her. 

“Yes, my sexy pirate bi,” the mermaid said, “I am your future wife. My name is Byleth.”

“OH,” Edelgard cried, “OH MY GODDESS, MY NAME IS EDELGARF. LET’S KISS.”

Edelgard leaned over, scooped up her mermaid princess girlfriend, and stared her in the eyes. 

“Your green orbs are so beautiful,” Edelgard sobbed, “I am going to kiss you now.”

“Good,” Byleth replied. 

Edelgard parted her lips and leaned in, but before their lips could touch, she fell to the ground floppily. 

“NO! PLEASE, GODDESS, JUST LET ME KISS MY MERMAID GIRLFIREND! I WILL GIVE UP MY LIFE OF PIRATING—“

“Whoa, look, Edelgard,” Caspar said out of nowhere, “you have a tail now!”

Edelgard looked over her shoulder to see that she did, in fact, have a tail. It was shimmery and red and sexy to match her shirt with the tiddy window. She looked at it and then looked at Byleth’s tail. They looked like Christmas. 

It was beautiful. 

“OH MY GOSH,” she cried, “I DO! BYLETH, REACH FOR MY HAND.”

“Of course,” Byleth replied, reaching for Edelgard’s hand. 

Edelgard kissed her finally. It felt like marshmallows. 

At that, they soared away into the dawn. Edelgard wished that she could have stayed with her pirate friends, but she had a tail now. On top of that, she finally had a sexy mermaid girlfriend to keep her company, so she couldn’t really fear the edge of dawn anymore. 

And so they loved happily ever after; the end.

**Author's Note:**

> I included a little Ferdibert reference because it is my absolute favorite ship. The random Caspar cameo was for Leaf, who deserves the world, and also, Caspar just carries the whole story, ngl. Grumpah, I love you, and thank you for blessing me with this idea; this fic is for you, obviously. Tayler, thank you for keeping me awake long enough to see Grumpah’s message. Fitz, thank you for pinning it to the channel and for being the physical embodiment of chaos. That is all. 
> 
> Follow me, cowards.  
> twitter/instagram: @archaneafire  
> 


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